Walmart.

Walmart. Low prices? Sometimes. Happy customers? Sometimes. Annoying people walking around being annoying? 80% of the time. Easy to find what you're looking for? Not really.

It seems like every time I go to Walmart everybody and their grandmother's dog is there. I would go shopping there after 10 PM if there weren't so many stupid youth and creepers there in the night.

What's so special about Walmart anyway?? Their prices really aren't that low compared to other places (except for Hy-Vee... Outrageous!!!). Oh, and did I mention how hard it is to find somebody working on the floor after 7 PM?

It's also impossible to find peanuts.

Story time:

So, I was going to make some awesome Peanut and Pretzel Crusted Chicken (recipe from Rachael Ray, found here) and obviously I had to buy the ingredients because I'm not some sort of witch who can throw some children into a cauldron and magically have some chicken in 5 minutes... Anyway. I go to Walmart to shop because it's the closest store to me and I'm lazy and don't like traffic because nobody knows how to drive like I do. Back to the topic. I walk into Walmart and the old guy at the door ignores me, which defeats the purpose of the job title "Door Greeter", doesn't it? I easily find the eggs, fresh thyme, and EVOO. I found the pretzels ok, it just wasn't as easy of a task as one would hope. Now here comes the insanity of Walmart: WHERE ARE THE DAMN PEANUTS IN THIS PLACE??? Seriously, you would think they would be down the aisle with the chips, or maybe the aisle that stated "SNACKS ARE HERE". But no. You know where I found them? In the alcohol aisle. Yeah. Who in the world would suspect the peanuts of being in this aisle? Not I, obviously.

Here's another story.

Two nights ago I was going to make homemade macaroni and cheese. But I couldn't find the cheese. Velveeta isn't where the cold cheese is. It's in an aisle that doesn't say "OH HERE'S SOME CHEESE FOR YA". It's next to the pasta. The very first aisle I went to. But then again... I wasn't wearing my glasses.

One last story.

About two weeks ago this little girl comes up to me (she's about 3 years old), pushing a cart that's much taller than she is, and says "I can't find my daddy." I panicked, of course. But I couldn't figure out how somebody could be so STUPID as to lose their 3 year old child in WALMART, a store full of creepers. I took her to customer service, and she asked me to push the cart for her because her poor little child arms hurt. :( So I pushed her car, and along we went. When her father came to claim her, I received no recognition whatsoever. WTF? Is that what I get for saving your poor little child from a possible pedophile walking around Walmart, trying to scope out your daughter? Worst father of the year.

Needless to say, Walmart is awesome, they have everything, but God I hate going there.

Also, I hate everybody who goes to Walmart at the same time as me. Except for you, because you're reading my blog.